So it begins

I have always been one to write about what was going on in my life including the ups, downs, thoughts, ideas, etc. I never thought about taking my writing to the Internet until just recently when it dawned on me that maybe someone might actually read it and relate. Maybe someone might get something out of what I write and be able to know they are not the only ones in the world that feel that way. So, it begins.

Perhaps a little background about me might be helpful. I was career focused out the ying yang until about three and a half years ago. I Aworked long hours, never took a true vacation, and basically lived to work. I enjoyed trying to go higher in my career, learn new things, and be better at everything that I did. I obtained my MBA while working and thought that might take me to where I wanted to go. Then in 2005, I realized that maybe it was a good time to make a change. I moved, along with my husband, from the west coast to my hometown in the south. I took some undergrad course work that I was missing and applied to a master's level program to obtain a degree that would take me in a new direction career wise. Well, I didn't get in. By the time I found out that I didn't get in, I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter.

After she was born, I began looking for a position in our current location knowing full well that it would be hard to find anything. The longer it took to find something the more I began to enjoy being a Stay at Home Mom. I enjoyed spending time with my daughter, seeing her grow up, having the flexibility to partake in hobbies. After about 15 months of this, I became pregnant with my second child, my son. I kept looking for jobs while pregnant to a certain point but then stopped as I got to far along. After he was born, I really had to find a job because financially I couldn't stay home any longer. See, we never prepared financially for me to be a stay at home mom because I never thought I wanted that. I thought I always wanted to be the career woman who went off to work and put in 150% or more and climbed the ladder. I really wanted to be a stay at home mom with my son as I had been with my daughter to this point.

Unfortunately, I did get a job about a month ago and it has been so hard to leave my children and not spend time with them during the day. I miss them terribly and I feel as though I am cheating my son since he is only three months old and won't get to have the two years of me being at home like my daughter did. I feel like I'm cheating my daughter because all she has ever known is ma ma being at home. It is also difficult for me that she has some developmental delays and I can no longer be present for her speech therapy and other therapy sessions.

So, that is some background on me. I never imagined that being a Mom and being a Stay At Home Mom would be so enjoyable and be something that meant more to me than anything else.