A few months ago, I began to use Facebook. Then my entire high school graduating class began showing up and trying to re-create the days of high school on there. Now back in high school I was a bit weird. First of all I was a teacher's kid which put me at a severe disadvantage. Second, I did nothing but go to church any time the door was open and that put me a severe disadvantage. Finally, I was somewhat introverted. So, high school was a huge void of loneliness for me. One I care not to go through again. When I went to college, it took about six weeks before I discovered I didn't have to be a teacher's kid anymore, discovered alcohol and gave up on church, and turned in to a big time extrovert.
I partied a lot in college and through the early part of my 20's and then I began to settle down and mature a bit. So, now I'm on Facebook which was my first mistake. So, I have tried to actually make an effort and strike up conversations with some of the people from my high school class. My thinking was that I am certainly different, perhaps they are as well. That was my second mistake. Why is it that the majority of people can not progress beyond high school? I have congratulated newly pregnant classmates, I have congratulated ones that are about to deliver - I mean motherhood is certainly something we now all have in common for most of us. I get no response what so ever. It is very disappointing that some people simply can not imagine that how a person was in high school is not how they will be for the rest of their life. I tend to think that by getting out of my hometown and out of the South in general that I became a better person and more open minded and well rounded in comparision to my classmates that never left. Perhaps that is why they can't talk to me now - I'm weird because I experienced life!
January 12, 2009
Fell in love
I stayed home for two days last week to take care of my little boy. He is now four months old and is starting to have some personality. I went back to work when he was two months old and was still only interested in eating and sleeping. Even though he was sicker than all get out, he did nothing but smile and talk to me the entire time. He enjoyed having me to himself I suspect. He has not had that since he was born. He basically wrapped me back around his finger those two days and I fell in love with him. He is such a great little guy. I know it sounds weird, but I didn't know that I could love someone so much. Don't get me wrong - I love my daughter but it is different. I try to figure out why it is different and the only conclusion I can come up with is that I didn't bond with her the same way. I had postpartum depression fairly bad with her and it didn't help that she was a bit of a difficult baby. I love her very now like I do her brother. I of course am still learning how to be a mom to two and try to be fairsy fairsy. Though I do think that at times we love one more than the other and it swaps back and forth so it does work out to be about equal.
Luckily, my employer was cool with me taking care of my son. I was told not to apologize that family comes first. I find it hard to believe because I have been in the business world way to long but we'll see as things move forward.
Luckily, my employer was cool with me taking care of my son. I was told not to apologize that family comes first. I find it hard to believe because I have been in the business world way to long but we'll see as things move forward.
January 5, 2009
Family or Work
I knew this day would come but didn't think it would come so soon. The day where I would have to choose whether I was going to take care of my family or take care of my job. See, there shouldn't be a reason why I need to go through this selection process. However, American businesses the way that they are, they are not family friendly in reality. My husband got sick last weekend. On the second day when I realized this was more than allergies and his needing to spend the weekend on the couch, I advised him to head to Urgent Care and get this taken care of before we all get sick. He refused. So, he lingered, coughing, hacking, etc. for the remainder of the weekend. Monday morning I finally was able to get him to see a doctor who put him on all kinds of medicine. He stayed at home for the next two days from work.
Well, I really hoped that it would miss me and the kids but it did not. My daughter who is 2 has had a mild case of it. I have had a pretty bad case of it and took myself to Urgent Care to get antibiotics and prednisone because it set off my asthma really bad. My four month old has a really bad case as well and is having trouble breathing through his nose and his lungs are really gunky. Of course they can not give him anything and the whole thing has me a bit concerned because he is so little and he is so congested. He can't get to sleep very well. I even called the Dr. this morning that was on call to see if I could get any other things to try to make him comfortable and to help him breath. I was told one additional thing and told to call first thing in the morning Monday to make an appointment to have him seen quickly. Well, that would be easy to do if I didn't have to work on Monday.
My Mom normally keeps my children for me while I work. However, when my four month old is sick she gets a bit nervous about keeping him. Plus, I'm giving him breathing treatments several times a day and she is a bit unsure of doing this. So, because of this and because I'm worried to death about my son, I am going to call out from work on Monday and hope that it doesn't affect my job. I know it will in some way or another. I'll get an "occurence" because I had to take care of not only my son but I'm still sicker than a dog as well. I have spent my afternoon trying to find another way to keep from calling out because in these economic times I don't want to give my employer a reason to fire me. But, in my mind, my first priority is to the health of my children and honestly the health of me as well.
We shouldn't have to make these kinds of choices and worry about loosing our jobs because we need to take care of our children. I think this is the worst part ever about women being back in the work force and the work force not giving us any way to take care of our families. I should have been able to call my job tomorrow, explain the situation, and them be OK with it and it not count against me. My job should be protected. I should be protected because I am a mother trying to take care of her children. I should never be asked to choose job over children for any reason. Our country is very messed up in this regard.
Well, I really hoped that it would miss me and the kids but it did not. My daughter who is 2 has had a mild case of it. I have had a pretty bad case of it and took myself to Urgent Care to get antibiotics and prednisone because it set off my asthma really bad. My four month old has a really bad case as well and is having trouble breathing through his nose and his lungs are really gunky. Of course they can not give him anything and the whole thing has me a bit concerned because he is so little and he is so congested. He can't get to sleep very well. I even called the Dr. this morning that was on call to see if I could get any other things to try to make him comfortable and to help him breath. I was told one additional thing and told to call first thing in the morning Monday to make an appointment to have him seen quickly. Well, that would be easy to do if I didn't have to work on Monday.
My Mom normally keeps my children for me while I work. However, when my four month old is sick she gets a bit nervous about keeping him. Plus, I'm giving him breathing treatments several times a day and she is a bit unsure of doing this. So, because of this and because I'm worried to death about my son, I am going to call out from work on Monday and hope that it doesn't affect my job. I know it will in some way or another. I'll get an "occurence" because I had to take care of not only my son but I'm still sicker than a dog as well. I have spent my afternoon trying to find another way to keep from calling out because in these economic times I don't want to give my employer a reason to fire me. But, in my mind, my first priority is to the health of my children and honestly the health of me as well.
We shouldn't have to make these kinds of choices and worry about loosing our jobs because we need to take care of our children. I think this is the worst part ever about women being back in the work force and the work force not giving us any way to take care of our families. I should have been able to call my job tomorrow, explain the situation, and them be OK with it and it not count against me. My job should be protected. I should be protected because I am a mother trying to take care of her children. I should never be asked to choose job over children for any reason. Our country is very messed up in this regard.
December 28, 2008
Thankful
I am so thankful that I have two healthy children and did not have any problems getting pregnant with them. I was reading an article today online about a little boy who was born with trisomy 18 and lived for 99 days. While viewing the tribute video on youtube, there were other videos suggested about other children who either lost their battle in some way or won but had some battle scars. It made me realize just how lucky I am that my children are healthy and happy. It also made me miss spending more time with them since I have to work. I know that may sound selfish to some that I want to spend more time with my children and would rather not work. However, we are not promised a tomorrow and if something horrible did happen, I would feel so bad for not spending more time with my children.
My youngest is changing daily and some of the changes I did not notice until I was off work this past week and got to spend a lot of quality time with him. My little girl is also changing. When I look back at where she was just a year ago, I am amazed at how much she has grown up and changed in appearance over this past year. It truly is baffling why time speeds up the older we get. I guess it is a downhill race of sorts and when you get to the bottom - it is over. The more time you go down the hill, the faster you get and it seems as if weeks fly by. Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like it took forever for Christmas to come back around or for school to be out for summer? If only time would be that slow again and give me the opportunity to really soak up the memories of watching them grow up.
My youngest is changing daily and some of the changes I did not notice until I was off work this past week and got to spend a lot of quality time with him. My little girl is also changing. When I look back at where she was just a year ago, I am amazed at how much she has grown up and changed in appearance over this past year. It truly is baffling why time speeds up the older we get. I guess it is a downhill race of sorts and when you get to the bottom - it is over. The more time you go down the hill, the faster you get and it seems as if weeks fly by. Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like it took forever for Christmas to come back around or for school to be out for summer? If only time would be that slow again and give me the opportunity to really soak up the memories of watching them grow up.
December 27, 2008
Farewell Christmas - until next year!
It is hard to believe that Christmas came and went so quickly. It seems as if it just snuck up on me and went by like a bullet train. It is always so sad when it is all over and you realize you have another whole year until you can get excited about Christmas and have all the anticipation. Though I am glad to be able to sleep the last night or so. Have you ever noticed that it is still hard sometimes to get to sleep on Christmas Eve even though you are an adult, you know better, etc. ? I do. Maybe it is that small child left in me that wants to believe that Santa was real and maybe just maybe something will be under my tree on Christmas Day that only could have come from Santa. Of course that is wishful thinking and I know better but still. Anyway - another Christmas come and gone and now the cold and yuck of winter is going to set in and I begin to look forward to spring!
December 16, 2008
Thank you Brenda Barnes
I just read about how Brenda Barnes, the CEO of Sara Lee, was on the Today show talking about how she left the workforce to be at home with her children and returned in to a high level position. She has created a program at Sara Lee called returnship. Mom's go to work part time and receive education and training on what has changed while they were out of the workforce. She also encourages flextime and work from home. FINALLY!!! Someone gets it! Thank you Brenda Barnes!!
Now, if only the rest of the business world would follow. My ideal would be that women would not have to make the difficult choice and return to the workforce before their children enter school at age 5 unless they absolutely wanted to - not because of finances. I think women should have the option to draw their social security to help supplement the loss of income we take when we decide to stay at home with our children. When I was interviewing, I didn't dare even mention that I was a Mom or that I had enjoyed being home with my children. I know that employers tend to secretly discriminate against Moms. Then there is the blatant discrimination where we tend to get in attendance trouble because we need to take care of sick children. Heaven forbid one of our children get sick. Of course businesses expect us to pawn our sick children off on relatives or make our spouse miss work.
We don't treat our Mom's right in this country. We don't provide enough maternity time. We dont provide options for Moms to stay at home without going through extreme financial hardships in most cases. We are not Mom friendly in the workplace - very little flex time or work at home opportunities (that are legit), and penalizing Moms for doing the most important job we have in the entire world - raising our children.
I think it is time that the business world and government woke up and began to work to help Moms in all kinds of areas. There is a Mother's Act before the Senate currently. It keeps getting stalled of course. It would provide funding for research in to Post partum depression. It would also establish a national awareness campaign. Ladies - we are strong and honestly, we are powerful. We need to stand up for our rights to raise our children without fear of loosing our jobs. Without the financial hardships of going down to one income from two.
Ok - I"ll step off my soap box. This is just something I get very passionate about.
Now, if only the rest of the business world would follow. My ideal would be that women would not have to make the difficult choice and return to the workforce before their children enter school at age 5 unless they absolutely wanted to - not because of finances. I think women should have the option to draw their social security to help supplement the loss of income we take when we decide to stay at home with our children. When I was interviewing, I didn't dare even mention that I was a Mom or that I had enjoyed being home with my children. I know that employers tend to secretly discriminate against Moms. Then there is the blatant discrimination where we tend to get in attendance trouble because we need to take care of sick children. Heaven forbid one of our children get sick. Of course businesses expect us to pawn our sick children off on relatives or make our spouse miss work.
We don't treat our Mom's right in this country. We don't provide enough maternity time. We dont provide options for Moms to stay at home without going through extreme financial hardships in most cases. We are not Mom friendly in the workplace - very little flex time or work at home opportunities (that are legit), and penalizing Moms for doing the most important job we have in the entire world - raising our children.
I think it is time that the business world and government woke up and began to work to help Moms in all kinds of areas. There is a Mother's Act before the Senate currently. It keeps getting stalled of course. It would provide funding for research in to Post partum depression. It would also establish a national awareness campaign. Ladies - we are strong and honestly, we are powerful. We need to stand up for our rights to raise our children without fear of loosing our jobs. Without the financial hardships of going down to one income from two.
Ok - I"ll step off my soap box. This is just something I get very passionate about.
December 10, 2008
Santa Claus and bail outs
I know this is going to sound really silly, but last night I was up late as I usually am, and the Christmas tree was on, and I wondered to myself what life would be like if Santa Claus existed for adults. What if he was as real for us as he is for our children? If that was the case, what would I ask him for? I found myself knowing exactly what I would ask for the money to allow me to stay at home with my children so that I not only could spend time with them but have the time to be a better wife. To also be able to work on an idea that I have for a non-profit and get that off the ground. Amazing how what I would want now doesn't involve new gadgets, new clothes, toys, etc.
This thought just kept taking me down the path of wondering how many people really need a real life Santa to help them out right now. I can't pull up CNN.com or look at the newspaper without seeing how bad the economy is. Thousands of jobs are being cut almost daily and that means families are struggling to keep roofs over their heads, food on the table, and keep themselves out of bankruptcy. Many of those families are middle class families just like mine who just went through buying a home during the time when prices were sky rocketing, have debt, and now wonder what the future holds. I look at this company and that company getting millions of dollars in bail outs and wonder to myself "what about us?" What about all of us that are down in the trenches suffering and those that are a lot worse off then me? Where is our bailout? As the CEO and CFO of my family, I may have made some bad financial decisions. Does that mean I can trot off to Washington and ask Congress for some money to bail me out? Nope!
I really hope that as we enter in to a new year and a new Presidency that something changes to fix this mess. I know it will take time but I"m not sure a lot of people have the time to wait. I know my patience level is low because I'm having to give up something that I will never ever get back - time with my children to go back in to the workplace to keep us from going under.
This thought just kept taking me down the path of wondering how many people really need a real life Santa to help them out right now. I can't pull up CNN.com or look at the newspaper without seeing how bad the economy is. Thousands of jobs are being cut almost daily and that means families are struggling to keep roofs over their heads, food on the table, and keep themselves out of bankruptcy. Many of those families are middle class families just like mine who just went through buying a home during the time when prices were sky rocketing, have debt, and now wonder what the future holds. I look at this company and that company getting millions of dollars in bail outs and wonder to myself "what about us?" What about all of us that are down in the trenches suffering and those that are a lot worse off then me? Where is our bailout? As the CEO and CFO of my family, I may have made some bad financial decisions. Does that mean I can trot off to Washington and ask Congress for some money to bail me out? Nope!
I really hope that as we enter in to a new year and a new Presidency that something changes to fix this mess. I know it will take time but I"m not sure a lot of people have the time to wait. I know my patience level is low because I'm having to give up something that I will never ever get back - time with my children to go back in to the workplace to keep us from going under.
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